Originally Posted by
ballu
MISTAKES OF MY LIFE
The past few days have been a over drive of emotions for me . there were moments which made me happy and there were others which were melancholic . when you know that you haven't actually done something right then it can drive you bananas .
there was some uncertainty about the stuffs which drew me crazy .
i wasn't sure about what i did but definitely it acted as a catalyst for a reality check .
this incident happened during my wonderful childhood days . those were the times when i was tension free and life was full of joyful encounters .
one day i made a bet with this tall guy who was 2 yrs elder to me . actually i don't remember what was that bet for but the looser had to give a wafer which would cost around 5 rupee to the winner . i lost the bet but didn't had a single penny to fulfill my promise . probably for the first time in my life i took some money , 5 rupee precisely , without telling my amma and bought a pine apple flavoured wafer for him. when amma got to know about this she started beating me like hell. again a first of it's kind . all through the while i was wondering what was all the big deal about .
was she beating me for buying a wafer ? is it a sin to do so? i didn't get a answer . but later i realized that she beat me for breaking her trust , the belief she had in me. she always said me never to take anything from home or outside without permission but i broke it that day which would have obviously hurt her.
few years down the line i was waiting for 10th CBSE board results . my performance was not as good as i expected . but once i checked my result the only thing which came to my mind was that a close buddy of mine who had also given exam along with me shouldn't score better . i called him and took a sigh of relief when he told me that his results were much lower than mine . that was my state of mind at that point of time but when i look back i did one of the worst thing which i could ever do and it is still haunting me.
wishing ill for someone who was my buddy was the meanest act of my life.
that guy who is still my buddy is not even aware of all this but for me it was a mistake which i regret . the selfish trait in me overpowered the friendship . now i guess i don't even deserve to be called as his friend .
collage life has been a roller coaster ride for me. the day i first smoked ,the day i drank like a drunk card and the lies which i told my family about my results were all mistakes . but then i had also confessed about most of these things to them at a later stage . so i was chilled that they were aware of my doings .
now the present turn of events have made me again feel that i have done something wrong . with a fake identity i was fooling around in this forum and played with the trust and feelings of few people who are outright strangers to me .
did i enjoy what i did ? yes ..absolutely ..making fun of others , building up outrageously foolish stories and making others believe that stuff was fun . there was a sort of enjoyment .
but was i victorious in my act? NO ...a big one at that.
i was being a sinister who broke the trust of few and hurt them . it was a brutal thing for me to do which i realize now. no one has the right to hurt others . that is the least i wish to do in my life but unfortunately it happened . making a fake identity in a public forum is not a sin but when you takes it advantage and misuses it then it actually is .
hopefully this remains with me till the end of my life for further stopping me from doing any mistakes .
